Why am I still single?

Nobody wants me lor.....

"Manji, when are you getting married? Have a working boyfriend already, still remain single?"

The fact is I do feel irritated with that question. Perhaps it sounds like Im so unwanted?It could be that it sounds like my boyfriend is so incapable in making it happens? I used to ask myself whether I want to get married in recent years,too. My judgement will be:

It will be nice to have wedding party, 'wedding night' and living with loved one under one roof. However, it is without a doubt that newly-wed mood will last for awhile only, ( Now, is realizing that fairy tale really happen in fairyland only).

Marriage is a matter that need full commitment from both, together with partners' family and friends some more. Most of the cases, commitment that need to be fulfilled depleting the love tank between couples. (very sad to say...). It will be a great dissapointment to have husband who act like he is single when he refuses commitment.

Ouch, it hurts me when I think about no happily ever after in human life.

Secondly, I don't have income to contribute to it-wedding preparation and life after that. My boyfriend will surely feel burdened to bear all the expenses, probably because of that he will love me less. (. .)III

Third, after all he is a little more superior than me. I have to build good image and reputation so that I will earn respect from him and his friends. (Thus, that respect element will strengthen his love toward me)

Conclusion: I really wish that they will stop asking me that annoying question. I am a pathetic girl. I don't really have that superb and fantastic relationship as everyone thinks that I will end up with happily ever after marriage. Seriously, its not that I dont want, is because I am not that lucky.

Up and down, left and right

This week will be the last posting at clinical area, for this semester. It happens to be in psychiatry ward. I do feel glad that it is female ward. The first day i attended the ward, I was quite startled that patient was fully naked. I was very thankful that I dont have to see male patient to be in that situation.

Actually, it is really not their will to be psychiatric patients and act in bizzarre way - It is because too much stressors and other factors that lead them into it., PLUS with own ability to cope problems.

However, it is fun to be in that ward as I can play Congkak, one of them. :) ...this ward is actually need psychology support. The same as oncology ward, where words and encouragement from other people are more useful to treat disease.

It is really unique on how God has planned the time that human being will fall sick and facing a lot of problems in living life. Seeing that they are so vulnerable and not able to take care of themselves..it makes me think of what my senior had said to me.

" There's so much thing to worry about, why worry about small thing which is still uncertain?'

That time I dreamt of my sick father and had bad mood for the whole day because of that dream. His words did annoy me since that time I thought that he was a cold-blood ice man.

Indeed a senior who live 5 years more than I do, see the world better.

Used to hate my career as student nurse, yet, as time passes by, I am thankful for able to be in current position, see how's life is going on, listen to different stories from patients, and loved by patients and relatives. The feeling toward HUSM is getting better, could it be my 2nd home?

Oh no, Im in love with my career?

indulging myself in..

Movie drama ...like an auntie.

Dad surely will say, ' Everyday watch love story only?exam time also watch such a nonsense movie..bad girl"

Mom:' Weii, watch movie until skip your breakfast and lunch??"

Having three days holiday in Kelantan, thats what I have been doing..watching this love story when Im awake, thinking about it while I jogged and bring it in dream as I sleep.

It is hardly to stop from watching it lar, after all I'm a fairy-tale girl who believe in happily ever after, lovey dovey things.

Grinning...:P :P

Again, it is about a rich guy's son who hate his father for causing his mother's death and become very rebellious. Then, fall in love with a typical girl for her purity in living life. Fighting with father till the end. Oh ya, forget about the part that there is an antagonist female character who will oppose them for the sake of love,too. Until now, agree with me that it is very stereotyped drama?

hehe....(grinning again). I love the part that this handsome and cute guy (OMG, it means this guy is really really really good looking for having both 'handsome' and 'cute' description FROM ME) loves his girlfriend...sweet. I want one boyfriend like that,too.

In fact, I used to have one 5 years ago..very handsome and macho. But, in the end, yeah, thanks for the betrayal. Dont have enough luck to enjoy that beautiful scene. ( )III

This is longer than usual, I conclude it as it is true that lovey-dovey, fairy tale love story does not exist in real world. It only happens in disney world and drama only. Aaarghh...why cant I exchange with Gisella ?

Nice work!!

See what have you done...

Can you tell me the difference?

P/s: Posted this after I get boo-ed by my patient for not able to differentiate Marsha and Maya.

Happily ever after?

Enchanted? Have you watched it? Very fairy tale and lovey dovey story. A dad who tried to make his daughter truely down to earth as he believes that fairy tale is bullshit.

This Andalasia chick, Gisella came to human place and messed things up... with her philosophy, believing that everyone has their own true love's kiss, that loving someone is just as easy as pie: fall in love and live happily ever after.

Robert (Patrick Dempsey) was used to be like Gisella, until his ex-wife whom he loved so much left him. Look at him, especially his eyes- which tell any girls that he can make their lives perfect.

*******************************************************************

I ???

Ya, Im the kind of girl who believes in fairy tale i.e, to love is to love...once loving someone, will always love him, I believe in everlasting love in good or bad time. Why do I have to make it complicated when loving someone is just so natural and come from within heart?

The same goes to confession in church. I believe that forgiveness and intention to repent by His believers. Although, some people claimed that a lot of people go for the confession of sins just to feel better as the sins is surely taken away and they will have chance to do it and repeat the cycles.

I know it is happenning, but I still hope for hope. There is no assurance that one will be perfect and not commiting sin after confession. But, I want to believe that everyone is changing for better way to live, just like what they are tought to be in own religion.

There are alot of bad things in this world, is it Ok that we save some naiive to certain things?

Being a squid today

Post-call:

Initially, i thought of going to church after night shift. Set the alarm at 750am...however, I was awake at 2pm. Feeling slightly guilty for sleeping so long. Woke up for awhile, uploaded pictures at facebook and blog. Then, I can't resist the body flaccidity which means I have to sleep again.

slept for another 3 hours, woke up again and went pasar malam with Deepo.

Had my dinner. After 15 minutes, felt so sotong again, it really felt like Im an invertebrata.

Lying on my bed...wondering why it has to rain when I really should abstain from sleeping..? That time, I felt so drunk, grabbed my phone, typing...

" Do you mind if I kiss you under the rainfall.."

"I dont but the Kelantan government will.."

Despite of desperating to sleep, I was murmuring alone:

yew, why is this old man gave me a kolot answer. Cant he just say 'yes, Im looking forward for it, '. Its not that Im doing that in front of Nik Aziz or JAKIM. After all, he should know that I will not dare to do it...continue sleep..

Woke up...and becomes a bit of rational. wondering why did I ask that question to him.

Conclusion is sleep deprivation is very bad to our health..therefore, do have your sleep properly.